I love ElfQuest.
I also have started reading through several blogs, following one post to another post to another site to another post like some long-term ongoing wikiwalk of trauma survivors and feminists and philosophers examining ideas that conventional Christian thought would rather label as heretical and simply ignore from that point on. But some things refuse to be ignored.
Some of what I’m reading is causing me to look seriously at myself, at my own assumptions, and at how some of my characters are portrayed. Both when they’re in the right and when they really aren’t. Most of those scenes aren’t even written outside of a few scattered notebooks and some conversations with The Mysterious Co-Writer, but some of them have been typed up in Word Documents and are waiting inclusion in this timeline or that one.
Or simply remaining hidden in the backstory, mentioned only in passing. Because not everything really needs to be shown in all the prurient detail.
In ElfQuest, of late, there’s a theme starting to be mentioned. The presence of the Palace of the High Ones is causing the Elves to slowly change over time. It even caused one creative individual to build a fan-poster for the series, using that line “It’s changing us…” as a metaphor for how ElfQuest has changed us, as fans.
And it has. ElfQuest has changed us. It’s changed me. I credit ElfQuest with giving me the ability to understand that my views, my opinions, my Way, isn’t the only Way. It’s right for me, but maybe not for everyone.
And even my Way can change as I encounter other ideas, other views, and incorporate them into my own.
What I’m reading now… it’s causing me to question some of the fundamental assumptions of my childhood. I can see how some of those terrible, toxic ideas were passed on to me, even if not to the extreme of what I have read of other lives. Even though I ended up on the light end of the spectrum of damage, the damage is still there. There are things that I once took for granted that I no longer believe, and cannot bring myself to even accept any longer.
No one, for any reason, has a Divine Right to Rule over anyone else. The very concept goes against what my Christian soul tells me of Christ, of His message and His purpose for living and for dying and for rising again.
I can no longer accept the idea that there is anything inherently wrong in loving another person, no matter their gender, no matter their identity. Hatred is wrong. Anger born of hatred is wrong. Attitudes that dehumanize other people, make them objects to be owned or used at the will of someone other than themselves; these things are wrong. These things are sin. Loving someone and wishing to spend one’s life with the one held so dear to the heart? Not so much. Wishing the rights and privileges associated with the informed and consenting union of two or more lives into a single family unit? Oh hell to the no. There is no evil in that.
Unfortunately, the process is messy. Change is confusing and painful and difficult. It means that I’m probably going to make even those who like me sick of hearing about things over and over and over again until they simply want to puke and tell me to shut up already. I’m odd when it comes to new ideas, new concepts, any sort of changes at all. I’ll talk about it. Maybe nudge it with my toe a bit. It takes me forever to work up the courage to actually do something I haven’t done before. It’s almost as painful a process as listening to me talk and talk and unendingly talk about some new concept that I’ve latched onto with all four feet.
I have to chew on things forever before they finally work their way into my system and I’m able to calm down and simply let them Be.
I still find it interesting that one of the central themes of ElfQuest is Change. Doesn’t mean it’s easy, just that it’s necessary.
Hopefully I’ll be able to get back to working on my stories soon. Still wrangling with some of the chapters in Story Arc Three for Castellan Dreams while simultaneously trying to figure out how to present all the other stories that exist within the larger universe of stories that comprise my creative efforts for the past twenty, twenty-five years or so.