The Hydreigon’s Terrible, Horrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Day
It’s strange, sometimes, just which moments in a game choose to imprint themselves in my memory and imagination. So far I’ve shared two near-misses, moments where I should have been sent packing back to the Center with an exhausted, defeated team… and somehow pulled victory from the Hydreigon’s jaws, so to speak.
This isn’t to say that I haven’t suffered a Total Party Kill… it’s happened more than I really like to admit. But the near-misses make for better storytelling, to be honest, and I adore a good story entertainingly told.
To be bluntly honest, though, I usually don’t enjoy being challenged in battles. If I’m worried about the outcome then it’s too stressful by half. I much prefer the Steamroller approach to battling in-game. After all, I’m facing AI units in a videogame. My brand of fun is to open a can of whoop-ass and proceed to Infernape-stomp a mudhole in someone.
I get downright giggly at one-hit KOs and total domination of my opponent. Sweeping a whole Gym using only one of my Pokémon and not even having to pull out a Leppa Berry to restore PP makes me very happy.
It’s even more fun for me if I’m kicking Pokémon into orbit with a cute Pokémon that isn’t normally known for badassery. But damn, that has to completely suck from my opponent’s viewpoint, you know.
Take, for example, Ghetsis from Unova. I hated him from the first time I saw that sonofaHoundour speaking. He oozed slime and I took an instant, very personal dislike to him. This, of course, means that I take an intense pleasure in thoroughly humiliating him every chance I get.
So I was playing White 2… or it may have been an early reset of Black 2, I’m not certain. In any event, it was one of the Unova sequels. I’d special bred some hatchlings for the Trainer to use and traded them in. One of them was a Pikachu female that I called “Caila”.
By the way, Pikachu’s complete unavailability in Gen 5 outside Events or transfer is the most annoying thing imaginable. I’m not usually much for overused mascots… but Pikachu is legitimately badass in potential. The case in point being Caila.
See, her OT went to the effort of evolving her from a Pichu so that she could learn one Technical Move in particular, Brick Break. Fighting type, very respectable power… and damn if Caila couldn’t rock it like a boss.
So here I was with a raging grudge against Ghetsis and his team in particular. I like to speculate that his Cofagrigus was evolved from a Yamask born from the death of the player’s father in either game… yeah, there is almost no crime that is not believable if attributed to Ghetsis.
The Pokémon that I focus my ire on most, though, is his Hydreigon. The damn thing’s Pit Bull-vicious to begin with and that’s before Ghetsis got his hands on the thing.
I actually believe that the Hydreigon line is the Pit Bull of the Pokémon world; it’s all in how they’re raised. Kind and friendly if raised lovingly, cruel and vicious if raised in the hands of human scum like… oh, Ghetsis for instance.
It doesn’t help that his Hydreigon’s underleveled on top of everything else. It implies that he found a way to artificially force evolution before the Zweilous was ready for it. This, of course, implies that he’s had “dealings” with Team Rocket Redux from Johto, possibly through one of their pet scientists who didn’t want to give up the research after the Goldenrod Radio Tower Debacle.
Seriously… when will these bastards learn? If a Pokémon Professor sets a group of Trainers loose on the Region with Pokédexes and the directive to meet as many different kinds as possible… that is not the time to be starting crap.
But no, getting his rump kicked two years before by a youngling Trainer with a Pokédex didn’t teach Ghetsis a damn thing. So here he was in the Great Chasm facing down another Pokédex-bearing Trainer and in her team is Caila, the Raichu with a grudge.
This was not the day to be a cruelty-maddened Hydreigon with a weakness to Fighting moves.
Hydreigon is a Dragon/Dark Type. I could have attacked with Ice (my favorite is a Stoutland with Ice Fang, or a Lucario with Ice Punch), or a Dragon move (Archeops wielding Dragon Claw is my usual choice), or even Bug (training Sewaddles by hunting Purrloin is a favorite tactic in Black and White)… but no, I send out Caila and watch with a madwoman’s grin as the Raichu teaches his Hydreigon the true meaning of pain, reducing him to a quivering mass of goo incoherently begging for mercy.
I really gotta wonder if that Hydreigon still wakes up screaming from nightmare flashbacks to that unholy smackdown.
All in all, it was a very satisfying battle, and Ghetsis’ subsequent mental breakdown was just icing on the cake for me. I don’t always carry a grudge, but when I do it’s epic.