The Sound You are Hearing…

… is the sound of me losing my ever-loving MIND!!!

It’s the thirtieth!!  Of October!!  Tomorrow is the thirtyfirst!  and then NaNoWriMo starts!!!  And I still don’t have a plot!!!!  I don’t have a plot, or characters, or even the hint of an initial scene!!!  Dear gak, where has the time gone???  I want October back!  I want a Do Over!  I need more TIME!!!!

*there is the muffled sound of a crash and a body falling to the floor as MrsGrizzley collapses under the weight of her own indecision*

*stands and recovers, slightly, with a soft chuckle*

Okay, yes, I have a dramatic streak a mile wide, but I really am going nuts with this.  It’s bad enough that I even considered doing fanfiction for NaNoWriMo, which is completely within the rules but still feels like cheating to me because I don’t end up with a usable manuscript for original fiction which is what I need to be working on since it’s the only thing that has the potential of making money… and that could help with a lot of the stress in my real life.

It’s frustrating as hell to get hounded about “doing something real” when writing is real to me and it is a hell of a lot more fulfilling than anything I ever did as one more warm body on the retail floor.  I know I’m good.  I know that I’m as good if not better than most of the people already on the market.

I also know what my greatest weaknesses are.  This damn busy mind of mine keeps me distracted and unfocused, unable to complete projects even when they’re worthwhile.  I want to write.  I need to write.  I’m happier and easier to live with when I’m writing… but hell if my brain will let me focus on any one thing that isn’t a distraction in and of itself.

In two days the National Novel Writing Challenge begins… and I am no closer to beginning it than I was on October 1st.  I can’t fail a second year in a row.  I need this too much.  But while NaNo is supposed to begin with excitement and a rush of writing before the insanity of it sets in… I’m already there.

So yeah, it’s all kinds of crazy up in here right now.

Advertisements
Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Post navigation

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: